How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
