Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
