I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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