i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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