yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
