And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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