so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
