Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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