Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
