Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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