I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
We got so high we made milksteak
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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