Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
