i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
