I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
