I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
