my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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