Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
