At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I just found puke in my bra..
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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