im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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