the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
