The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
bring money and cleavage
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
