So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Randomize
