separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
