ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Farmville is her only friend.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
