the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
