I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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