do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
