Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
