Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
