Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize