im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
