Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
