there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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