Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
