I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
