he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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