i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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