I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
