Don't make out with my wife yet
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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