A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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