we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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