check it out our google latitudes are spooning
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
