i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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