it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
