I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
