The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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