Can i not drive my cunt home
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
