i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
