Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
