so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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