I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Randomize
